Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Chandlure Trainez
Summary: Franky tries to tell 'Twas the Night Before Christmas', it is a valiant attempt, but ultimately the crew's resident storyteller takes over.


_'Twas the Night Before Christmas  
_

A Chandlure Trainez One Shot

* * *

 _'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship._

 _Not a creature was stirring, not even a tick._

 _The stockings were hung about the Galley with care,_

 _in hopes that Santa would soon be there._

 _The children (and Brook) were nestled all snug in their hammocks_

 _As visions of…_

"Damn it, what would you guys dream about?" Franky asked, rubbing a hand through his hair. The twinkling lights that Usopp had put up for the holidays making colorful patterns on his metal body.

"Meat!" Luffy cried happily, bouncing in his seat on the floor.

"Cotton Candy!" Chopper exclaimed into Zoro's ear causing the swordsman to wince.

"Money!" Nami said dreamily, eyes twinkling with signs of Beri.

"Murder!" Usopp gulped dramatically.

Robin took a sip of her coffee, hiding a smile behind her mug."Why not use adventure?"

 _As visions of adventure danced in their heads._

 _And Robin in her shawl, and I with my cola,_

 _had just settled for a quiescent evening together._

"Whats qui-sent?" Luffy asked, finger in his nose.

Nami slapped his fingers away from his face as Usopp answered, "it means quiet, no one is around."

Luffy blew a raspberry, throwing himself onto his stomach. Usopp scowled and pushed the rubber-man's feet out of his face. "Why not just say that?"

Franky rolled his eyes, holding back a long suffering sigh, and continued.

 _When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,_

 _that I sprang from the crows nest to see what was the matter._

 _Across the room I flew like a flash,_

 _Tore open the trap door and jumped down the mast._

 _The moon gave what adorn_

 _the lustre of mid-day from the lawn._

 _When, what my wandering eyes should appear,_

 _But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer._

"Hey! My kind are not your pack mules!" Chopper cried, slapping his tiny hooves on Franky's thigh.

"Shh, let him finish!" Usopp whispered, "I never get to listen to stories. I'm always the one telling them."

 _With a little old driver, so lively and quick,_

 _I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick._

"It could just be Luffy in a beard," Usopp whispered in Sanji's ear, making the older boy chuckle.

"It'd explain the energy." Sanji admitted, taking a pull from his cigarette. He loosened his tie, and pulled his leg to is chest, leaning his forearm against his knee.

"And the reason everyone leaves snacks." Usopp adding, shrinking back at Franky's glare.

 _More rapid than eagles his coursers they came._

 _And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!_

"Hunting dogs, war horses, hunters." Usopp said quickly, as Luffy opened his mouth to ask.

"You're a regular dictionary today, aren't you?" Robin commented mildly.

"I read," Usopp said with a shrug of his shoulders.

 _"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!_

 _On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!_

"What stupid names," Luffy commented crassly.

"Right, because 'Luffy' is the cutting edge of sophistication," Nami snipped. "Let him finish the story! We have other things to do before bed."

 _To top of the rail! To top of the Galley!_

 _Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!_

 _As dry leaves from the mandarin tree fly_

 _When they meet an obstacle, mount to the sky._

 _So up to the galley the coursers they flew,_

 _with a sleighful of givings, and St. Nicholas too._

 _And then,_ _with_ _a twink_ _l_ _ing, I heard on the second landing,_

 _the prancing and pawing of each little hoof._

 _As I drew up my head, and was turning around,_

 _Through the Galley St. Nicholas bound._

 _He was dressed in all fur, from his head to his foot,_

 _and his clothes were all covered in ashes and root._

 _With a bundle of gifts over his back,_

 _he looked like a vender, readying his stack._

"Covered in 'ashes and root'?" Usopp said, eyebrow raised. "You couldn't have come up with anything better?"

"Like what?" the cyborg asked, his voice full of exasperation.

"I don't know, off the top of my head 'covered in ashes and holding the loot. With the bundle of gifts thrown over back, he looked like a vender, readying his stack?', or something like that?"

"That's why Usopp is King." Luffy giggled, throwing Usopp a large child-like smile.

Usopp shook his head, "I'm hardly king, Luffy."

"Poor Franky, he never stood a chance," Chopper said sadly, shaking his furry little head.

 _His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!"_

 _His cheeks were like roses-_

"Is there something you aren't telling us, Franky? It's okay, we support you, no matter what you are."

 _...his nose like a cherry!_

"He should go to a doctor!" Chopper scolded, "it sounds like he might have high blood pressure."

 _His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,_

 _And the beard on his chin was white as the snow._

 _The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,_

 _And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath._

"Oh, so it's Sanji!" Luffy laughed. "That makes so much sense!"

"When have I ever smoked a pipe!?" Sanji hissed, kicking Luffy atop the head.

"To be fair, you smoke so much it could be mistaken for a wreath, Pervert."

"Who are you calling a pervert, Moss-head?" Sanji jumped up, his hands clenched into fists.

 _He had a broad face and a little round belly_

 _that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly!_

"Oh, that's awesome! He has a belly made of jelly- I want to eat it!"

"It's not made of jelly, you idiot! It _shakes_ like jelly."

"Oh… well that sucks."

"Usopp, finish this off. I'm done." Franky snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. He went and plopped himself next to Brook, who had been creating the background music to the poem.

"Yohohoho, it was nice of you to give Usopp a break." Brook offered, putting down his violin for a moment as Usopp stood and brushed himself off. He shrugged his bony shoulders, "some people just have it, and others don't."

"I have it _fine_." Franky groused, "it's super uncool. Usopp has you all spoiled. Like Sanji and his food."

"True," Brook lifted his violin back under his chin. "Then again, it might just be that young Usopp has the ability to gather attention. Look, they've all settled down."

Franky allowed his eyes to fall to the rest of the crew about ten feet away from the railing where he and Brook stood, and it was true. No longer were Sanji and Zoro fighting, Luffy and Chopper had both settled as well, eyes wide with anticipation. Even Nami, who had been reading a magazine when he started, had put it down in favor of listening. "That's probably true."

Usopp stood proudly in front of the group, facing so that the ones on the floor, as well as Brook and Franky could clearly see his face.

 _He was chubby and plumb, a right jolly old elf,_

 _And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!_

 _A wink of his eye and a twist of his head._

 _Soon let me know that there was nothing to dread._

 _He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,_

 _and filled all our stockings, then turned with a jerk._

 _And_ _l_ _ay his finger aside his nose,_

 _and giving a nod, out the Galley he goes!_

 _He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle_

 _and a way they all flew._

 _But I heard him exclaim as he drove of sight,_

Usopp leaned forward and whispered so that the rest of the crew had to gather closer to hear him. " _Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night._ "


End file.
